If you asked David a year ago what I really wanted to do in 2013, he would tell you that I wanted to plan an intimate wedding of maybe 100 guests in Lexington, North Carolina in order for us to finally get married. Wait, finally you ask? Let's just say that when you file your taxes jointly with your boyfriend,
you become lawfully married in the state of which you have done so. So
be careful if you do not want to be "legally" married just yet!
For me, it was a different story. The moment we signed over in agreement to becoming legally married, I started hearing wedding bells in my ears like my inner clock was running out of its tick. But that was a year ago, exactly on January 26th, 2012. Ever since, I had the running motion of wanting to do anything possible to make sure that there was a ring on my finger (no diamonds, sorry but this bitch hates slavery!) and a wedding of my dreams by August 2013.
But once I started working at Ross Dress For Less (and pretty much on the same day that I won FULL custody of my son), I started to change my views on what I wanted to do first and then second (we talked about me getting a job in order to have a 2013 wedding, and then a baby in 2014). With all the kids I used to greet and the babies' feet I used to tickle, I started thinking about the time when Zak goes to Pre-K. Sure at the time it was only a year and some odd months away, but it just did not feel right at the time to want to have a wedding during the most critical time in my own child's life. For me, it was a different story. The moment we signed over in agreement to becoming legally married, I started hearing wedding bells in my ears like my inner clock was running out of its tick. But that was a year ago, exactly on January 26th, 2012. Ever since, I had the running motion of wanting to do anything possible to make sure that there was a ring on my finger (no diamonds, sorry but this bitch hates slavery!) and a wedding of my dreams by August 2013.
That's when I weighed the pros and cons for several months before finally telling David in November of 2012 that "I want a baby, we should try. I'm being serious too."
...and we've been trying ever since. Pray that it happens, k? I want a
baby to hold and love on while I miss hanging out with my little buddy
during the first half of the day until he comes home from school.
The baby thing is tuff. If you feel ready for another one, then you are. I need more time. I think next year may be my year to start trying. For now I am loving my freedom. lol
ReplyDeleteAnd if that is what feels right to you, definitely do it. In fact, I urge you to take as much time as needed before you settle down, because once you have a baby..a lot of things change.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't ready with my first son (because of being in a sexually abusive relationship and the fact that he was conceived through rape almost), but once I had him.. I knew that things for me would change. I love being a mother and I miss all the aspects of having an infant in my life.